Feedback on Inital Storyboard and Script

The feedback we had after showing our teacher our storyboard was that we really didn't need to show the male stalker in the first opening two minutes as it loses its sense of mystery. He really liked our idea of the mask on top of the TV as this creates the location and what's happening in the story without giving too much away. We took into consideration this feedback and as a result will be making a second initial storyboard, to not confuse us with the opening sequences.

When discussing with the teacher and other members of our class, they put some ideas forward about our opening. They suggested that when our camera pans to the left from the TV and you see the pictures on the wall of the girls, you should have a fuzzy noise and a jump cut shot of the girls at the scene of the crime when they are found. For this we have decided to use extra fake blood for the girls and decided on their costumes which we have edited on costumes from our previous ideas. This would add to the effects of suspension and tension and let the audience be more aware of our genre.

Our feedback on the script was that it was too short and had to be longer, this was to get more background of the girl and what was happening so that it doesn't risk the audience getting confused, we also had to make it more like it was breaking news and not deliberately put on screen. Therefore we have decided to make it longer but not to have the news report go on for too long, perhaps a voiceover would be better to go over the top of the action.

Post by: Kathleen Ransom & Jess Wilding